Wednesday, April 8, 2009

flying high, on the wings of my dreams

singapore changi update:

"my life, my dreams, nothin's gonna stop me now" i definitely just watched a full episode of Perfect Strangers at the singapore airport in front of an eatery called go go franks. holy shit. it was cousin larry appleton's birthday, which he hates b/c...i dunno, b/c he is such a miserable depressing sad sack curly-headed sienfeld-wardrobed chicago idiot, he hates everything. he tried to submit a photo of a burning building to a chicago newspaper and they didn't want it, so he was reminded of how depressing and lame his life is b/c he is not a photojournalist. anyways, these three singaporeans thought i was hella weird for getting so excited that perfect strangers was on tv. also, i think that the title for "dumb & dumber" came from perfect strangers. at the beginnin of the episode, this chunky jerk character comes in and says "well, if it isn't tweedle-dum and tweedle-dumber". and then he doesn't do anything else, he just leaves the scene.

in between morsels of larry&balky, singapore commercials came on. there is some show called V.I.P., which means Voices in Parliament, where actual members of Parliament go on this karaoke game show called "dont forget the lyrics" and (in this commercial) try to sing "the Final Countdown" by Europe. wtf. also, Burger King commercials are delivered w/an Australian accent. is the Burger King Australian?

Sooo, some parts of Changi airport are really nice, and some parts are like a casino. everything feels hella cheap. there are eeeeenddleess weird 24hr eateries from all over the world and also movie theatres. Spas and gyms, huge garden things and big walls of tropical vines. All of the butterflies in the butterfly garden were sleeping. They feed them sliced pineapple!!! They just leave it out for em, that's so adorable. so, I thought it was hot&sweaty in Singapore, and then I went outside the airport, holy cow, it is unbelievably sticky omg, like falling asleep in a pile of blow pops on a filthy beach.

Also, there are 7-elevens in here, way cool. full of strange singapore snack foods. The first thing I did when I went in there (I was the only person in there, except for a manager), was destroy an entire display of "Silky Milk" chocolate bars. I pulled one bar out of the display, some plastic thing fell off, then aaaaalll the silky milk bars started tumbling onto the floor, and it went on foreeeevverrrr, they just kept slowly dropping and I was just standing there, like in a stupid movie, only it was real. i tried to clean it up, but the guy wouldn't let me. what an idiot gaahh.

And also, there are these giant "Test Your Strength!" machines everywhere with huge billboards behind them and you're supposed to win money or something. "Beat the Recession!" they're called. And they actually say "Spend $80 to win $700,000 in vouchers!" holy shit, vouchers. $80? seems like that would take an hour of your time to spend that much on a jumbo mallet whomper machine.

just ate raw fish sushi at this food thing. oop, i might grab some barf bags fer the road. the sky road. "where we're going, we don't need roads." we're going in an airplane. me&you.

he who controls the spice, controls the galaxy.
who controls the spice? i think that the head chef does.


  1. hey chicle
    i adore your writing voice
    i lolled like a lollerskate at the blow-pop remark.
    will you bring me something spicy from india ? or something super cool and india-n. like sweet lime.
    i'm so jealous of you!!

  2. ps wtf.. that was some project i had to make a blog for school for like three years agos. this is juniper though

  3. sorry i spaced on yer txt, coddle. we were talking the other day about how you are going to out-skinny all the poor hood kidz in india. and how they're gonna adopt you as some kind of thin american messiah or mascot or something. then they were going to feed you until you were mega fat like messiahs are supposed to be (?). then you would be the same jovial codebro, but chubbed out in sweaty india surrounded by a swarm of devoted hindi followers cramming eastern yum yumz down yer face.

    i don't know why any of this would happen to you. except for the fact that you are the most affable bro in history. and everyone knowz foreignerz hella love yankz.

    i hope you have heck of fun in india, and it sounds like you are. i just hope we don't lose you to the frillz and delicious fruitz messiahship. that wouldn't be fair.

    are there any thrift store like things over there? or record shopz? holy shit... i've fantasized so hard about traveling strange landz and raiding their awesome records and clothes and shit. god damn. you better hit some shit like that up for me so i can live my dreamz out through you.

    huggzzz from the mainland, dude. these blogz are good readz. makin me hecka jealous. travel safe.

  4. oh... destroyermoth is me charles edward francis mcneil v.