Wednesday, April 8, 2009

i dont get email on sundays; the post office is closed then.

So far, Singapore is heeeellla sweaty. it's 87 degrees and rainy at 2am. This insane airport has an Xbox lounge, a butterfly garden, a bunch of indoor bamboo forests, koi ponds, hecka free internet kiosks and god knows what else. the carpets, however, are extremely horrible. it's very steamy in here. this kiosk machine only allows me 15 min at a time, gotta make it snappy. everything is in english wtheck? makes me feel weird. i am such a jerk loser, i have no idea what the language of singapore is. i found this tourist mag w/this ad: "live your fantasy! on your next vacation, become a rock star, secret agent, supermodel or something else!" omg that sounds so embarrassing. i would love to buy that for some friend and force them to go on a hella embarrassing vacation for like a month.

how many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man? how many times must a man watch Dark City for free on his airport personal entertainment top secret lcd screen, before you call him a turd? Just once. singapore airlines is vrrryy extravagant. all of the attendants are beautiful asian women with long ornate gowns. personal Givenchy toothbrush and pillows. i had a whole row to myself, hell yeh. every seat has a weird lcd screen with a bunch of internet video games and a dorkload of free movies & tv shows. also you can learn other languages on this screen thing, it's just like the 5th element, but even more embarrassing. there was some Indian movie about a bunch of boys who form the world's greatest rock&roll band (which is awful), but they never get famous, then they reunite 10 years later. i really wanted to watch that but then i realized that i shouldn't. the Day the Earth Stood Still is terrible, total snooze. i passed out. the IT Crowd is pretty good. Madmen did not impress me. Flight of the Conchords is really good. Australia, the movie, is soooo good, holy cow! it's totally over the top and swashbuckling and raucous and dramatic, hella good. it's like a hybrid of excellent feel-good 80s international action movies, like Crocodile Dundee, Romancing the Stone, Indiana Jones, mixed with very dramatic golden age of hollywood movies. i am a big sucker.

i definitely did not want to leave Inchin airport in Seoul. it was extremely fun and weird. the currency is like less than 1/100 of a cent, so everything is priced like 10,000 for something that's about $7.50, or like 3,000 for coffee. toonnsss of weird boutiques and "liquor & tobacco" places with tons of weird kitschy expensive liquor and tiny cigarettes, huge cardboard cut-outs of of weird androgynous korean cigarette model dweebs. everyone is extremeley nice, but they are so bored and so not used to foreigners that all the cashiers and airline people stare at you and mumble questions to you.

on a plush airline, you feel like one of the humans in Wall-E, b/c there is always someone asking you if you need something, offering you drinks and food, and there is the video screen right in front of your face with tonnnnnss of stuff on it and you never have to get up and do anything. you just watch movies, eat stuff while watching movies, pass out for a while, wake up to someone offering you a big try of microwave airplane salad and wine. i got heck of drunk the first 3 hours.

it's kinda hard not to be cynical when you are constantly being served and ushered around and dont have to do anything for yourself.

'k, im gonna see what people eat in singapore, and then i'm gonna eat it. i might take a shuttle to the city, cos i've got like 6 hours until my plane boards, who knows? doesn't that sound fun?

see you brace-faces later,

1 comment:

  1. whoa! sounds like a crazy and weird time.
    thanks to wikipedia i can tell you that the national language in singapore is malay.

    keep it real.